The SHORT EdoChan Stories!
by poopertrooper
Summary: Simple RoyxEd Parental Drabbles, don't know how many there's gonna be.*Chapter 7: That Picture? Part II... Continuation of "Spitballs" Rated M for what is to come. ON HIATUS UNTIL NUMBER THIRTEEN IS FINISHED!
1. The Monster In EdoChan's Room

Monster in Edo-Chan's Room

Short Story by Fireflightpro567

It all began one, extremly quiet, dark night at Colonel Roy Mustang's two-story house. And it invovled three very,very troblesome children. Their names were Edward Elric(Age 5), Angel Pettington(Age 3), and Rowen Roxelle (Age 1 and a half).

So, Roy was fast asleep, obviously dreaming about women. And all the boys, except for Edward, were asleep too.

"DADDY! DADDY!" Edward yowled, panic in his voice.

Roy awoke and came to Ed's rescue. As he entered Ed's room, he saw the blond pressed up against the wall, still on his bed, shaking violently. "Ed! What's wrong!" Roy asked, already worn from dealing with Rowen's problems an hour before.

"Th...There are monsters! IN THE CLOSET! They're gaint and hairy, and they wanna put me in their gooey, icky monster-stew so they can eat me for breakfast!" Ed stammered, pointing wearily at his white painted closet.

Roy's eyebrows shot up in confusion, then he put his hands on his hips.

"Edward-kun, there are no such things as monsters. Really, I mean it. I'll show you right now," he said, opening the closet, ignoring his child's pleas. No monsters. "See? None whatsoever. Now go back to sleep or expect to sleep witha warm, toasty bottom."

Edward's eyes clouded, but he sighed and he crawled under the covers. "You'd comfort Angel or Rowen if they said that..." He whimpered.

"Because they're still babies," Roy explained."You are five now. You need to be a man, or you'll never beable to step out of the house by the time you're eighteen years old. Now go to bed."

No answer.

"Allright then, chatterbox. Goodnight." and he closed the door to Ed's room.

After Roy left, Ed glanced at the closet in fear, and stayed against his wall for about an hour, but then he heard a voice.

"Don't go running to daddy," The gruff, monotone voice said."You're late to midnight snack, you're gonna be breakfast." And the voice vanished.

Ed stood there, his blood curdling in his body for about a minute, then he heard a growl, and he bolted out of his room, and into Angel's room. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the sleeping form of the purple haired three-year-old.

"I'll be safe here." He whispered.

But he was wrong, a few minutes later, he heard a scratching noise in Angel's closet. He gasped, and after he heard another growl and scratch, he ran again, this time, he ran into Roy's room, hearing the old matress groan as he crawled on his bed and went up beside him, shivering. It took only a few minutes for Roy to notice.

"Why are you in here?" Roy mumbled as he sat up.

"Monsters, under the bed! In Angel's closet. Everywhere!" Ed whispered shakily.

"Again with the monsters?" Roy growled.

Ed begin to cry as he baried his head into Roy's chest.

"Fine. Stay here. But only tonight. I MEAN it."

After they went to sleep, two forms came down the hallway. One was crawling, the other stumbling. They wore grins on their faces as they slowly opened the door to Roy's room.

"Edward, it is time for the monsters to begin cooking." Came a gruff voice.

Ed awoke, but he couldn't see who was there. "No...No you're not gonna take me, I have Daddy."

It was as if Roy had heard, he sat up gorggily again. "What now? Bad dreams?"

", it is time...For Monster Breakfast!" another hard voice said.

Roy hissed, and withdrew a flashlight.

"Allright! THAT'S IT! WHO IS IT!" he yowled, turning on his flashlight.

It was Angel and Rowen. Wearing monster masks and using a voice changer.

"Ange? Rowy! YOU DID THIS!" Edward screamed, very pissed. "DAADY! DO SOMETHING!"

Roy shook his head, beginning to laugh. "Good job! For that, you get cookies for breakfast tomarrow!

"You...Did this!"

"Yep. I guess pipsqeaks get scared too."

"Who's so small you can put them in a jar of jelly!"

**The end! :)**


	2. The Pink Blanket And EdoChan

**Well, this is the 2nd entry to my Fanfiction. I hope you don't mind the rush, but I've had the story ready since the 11th. So it needs to be on so I can get to the next story. **

**This one isn't EXACTLY EdxRoy Parental, but it'll come on the end. I promise. **

**This story was made up one Saturday night, and I couldn't sleep, so I played it over in my head, thinking of the fuzzy pink blanket I was using that night, and thought how cute Ed would be if he had one...**

**Yeah, Well. I don't have much esle to say, so I'm getting on to the story!**

_The Pink Blanket And Edo-Chan_

_SHORT Edo-Chan Story #2_

_By Dinosaurs On The Moon Cookies!_

Okay, this is a sequal of sorts to 'The Monster In Edo-Chan's Room'. It takes place in yet ANOTHER alternate universe. Ed is only...Two. But he really can't talk very well or walk, but he crawls. He has a little brother named Alphonse. The parents are Roy and Riza.

Right before Ed was born, Roy had givin Riza a fuzzy pink blanket for an anniversery present. But it never got used because Riza had others almost like it, so it just lay on the unused side of the fmaily room couch.

So one day, it was a quiet Saturday afternoon, and Riza was down in the basement doing laundry while Roy was reading a mystery novel. And he was supposed to be watching Ed.(A/N: Now that's what I call BAD PARENTING!) Al was upstairs, taking his afternoon nap. Ed was supposed to be doing the same in the family room, but he couldn't sleep. So he decided to survey the room in quiet, not trying to disturb Roy.

He sat up in his wallless bed and yawned, his little arms streching into the air. After that, he managed to slip off the flat, elevated surface and onto the carpet floor below him. Everything now seemed six inches higher above him and he fumed for a secound about how short he was! But he kept moving, towards the couch where Roy would be, to caress him in his loving arms and make him go to sleep.

He felt carpet burn on his soft knees as he advanced, and was glad to get off them as he grabbed the edge of the sofa to help him stand. As he peered over onto the couch, a pink object caught his eye. It was a huge pink mass of fluffiness, and Ed was determined that it would lead him to Roy. He kept that determination as he reached for it, and after a moment, felt his cubby hand grab it, and he tugged it down, but it did the opposite of what Ed had wanted it to and it slipped off the couch. And guess what it did? It fell on top of him!

Ed was trapped in the blanket, and seeing as he didn't know what it was at the time, thought it was trying to keep him captive. He fought it with all of his strengh, and soon made an opening to which he quickly escaped. As he saw his defeated enemy, he relized for the first time that it was a blanket. A fluffy, fuzzy pink blanket.

Ed was relieved to know it was a harmless blanket, but now he wondered how he was gonna get it back onto the couch AND not disturb Roy, who was still reading.

Maybe he shouldn't put it away...But Riza had always reinforced the rule of giving back things that didn't belong to you, so Ed had to do something!

But then he felt the blanket's softness, and fell in love with it. It felt like bliss. And Edward liked that feeling. He wasen't ready to give it back. He figured, if he couldn't get to Roy, then the blanket would be his subsitute.

He dragged the blanket into the dining room so he could sunngle with it without disturbing anyone. When he got there, he somehow found his favorite pacifier also. He really was getting more comfortable in there then he was in the family room...

*Meanwhile, a little bit later...*

Roy was enjoying the crime novel, but he had suddenly remembered that he had to watch Edward, who was supposed to be taking his afternoon nap. So he slipped a bookmark in his place, and shut the book.

When he looked around, he saw that Edward wasen't where he was supposed to be sleeping. Oh...Crap. Riza was gonna kill him if he didn't find Edward! And he might be getting into troble!

He then heard a light snoring coming from the dining room, and he decided to investigate it, it could be Edward...

As he crept into the room, he found Edward, under the table, fast asleep in a pile of pink, fuzzy blanket. And he crawled under and joined him.

"Sleep well, Edward."

"G'night, papa."

**THE END! :D**


	3. Spitballs

**EEK! Another SHORT story! This time its a school theme. Roy's the teacher, and Ed's the student! Edward's about 13, just to let you know. You'll see the parental near the end, as usual. I kind've stink at this crap because I SWEAR I make them seem SO OOC! Geez... Anyways, before you continue, I must warn you. THIS STORY CONTAINS SPANKING. It's **_**not**_** Yaoi! Just Parental. This took me two and a half hours and may be my longest drabble thus far, so please don't flame me! Flames will be givin to Roy, who may fire them back at you!**

**Also, I wish to thank my FIRST reveiwer EVER! That would be Kami-Sama334, and she gets THE HUGEST COOKIE EVER! (She picks the taste.) **

**Okay...enough! I only have so long to type in one afternoon, so on I go! Enjoy the story!**

"Spitballs"

By Dinosaurs On The Moon Cookies!

"Oh my god...I'm SOO sick of this class..." Edward Elric whispered sullenly to himself as he picked at the old tape that stuck to the edge of his desk.

Language Arts was always his _worst _subject, and it was a wonder he ever passed each year! (Except once...) All he usually did was pick at the tape on his desk, draw on his notes, or make his special quality "Spitballs" that he'd aim at his teacher, Roy Mustang.

Roy Mustang ( for short...) was called 'The Flame' by his students because of his strict disapline. He didn't even give them warnings before they got into troble. He had short black hair and raven eyes covered by a pair of rectangle glasses. He wore short sleeved polo shirts, jeans, and his favorite pair of shoe were blue Converse that had a special circle on the sides. Roy looked like a typical young teacher, just starting off, but he'd _really_ been teaching for almost sixteen years.

Edward Elric was a normal 13 year old slacker. The only way he ever got his classwork or homework done was from being under pressure, and that mostly ended with him in a meltdown that took hours to get out of. He was well known for his drawing, extinsive chatting and signature creation and aim of his spitballs.

(So now that we gotten to know the characters, back to the story...)

As time wore on until Ed would be able to leave for his Band class, Ed was starting to drift off to 'Lalaland'. But then he saw it. On the floor next to his friend Alfons Heidrich's desk. The _PERFECT_ spitball matearial. But sadly, it was next to the doorway, and even if he _did_ manage to go that way, would see him picking it up, and would put him in the "Yellow Zone". And that ment staying behind during break time. But he **would **get it, no matter how much troble he'd get in!

He raised his hand slowly, hoping to god wouldn't think he was trying to answer a question. His wish came true.

"Yes, Edward?" Roy asked as he started passing out homework papers for the class to start on.

"Um...May I go to the bathroom? Please?" Ed had to work hard not to subdue his grin. His plan was working!

Roy hesitated for a moment, but then answered, "Allright. I trust you'll be back in two minutes?"

"You bet!" Edward said as he sat up in his seat and started out.

"One more thing, Ed."

Ed froze. Had he been found out? "What is it?"

"Do make sure not to sketch fire-breathing dragons in the stalls like yesturday."

Edward blushed rose-red as a majority of the class laughed. "I won't, I promise." he muttered, remembering the pictures.

"Allright, off with you!"

Ed nodded as he rushed out of the classroom, and he managed to pick up the paper! That was because the teacher was at the back of the room, and he hadn't noticed anything suspicous. As he rushed down the long hallway, he picked up various pieces of papers, mostly Sticky Notes. (_**DISCLAIMER: I don't own the title of Sticky Notes!**_) And then he reached the boys bathroom at the end of the hall. He scrambled to the nearest stall and locked the door. He had only a minute to make the ammo, and a minute to get back. Thankfully for him, he knew how to make spitballs really fast.

It wasen't long before he had ALL the ammo he'd need. He stuck them in the corner of his mouth to keep them moist, and he walked out of the bathroom and into the hall, where his best friend Alfons was waiting. Opps. He'd been off by a minute. Damn. Thankfully it wasen't too bad that he'd missed only a minute. There wouldn't be any penalty for less than three minutes late.

"Damn, Ed. What took you so long?" was how he was greeted.

He couldn't say anything, so he opened his mouth to reveal the spitballs, and Alfons giggled.

"Ohh! Your ass is in _SO_ much troble of The Flame finds them!"

Ed glared at him, telling him he knew that, seeing as he'd gotten in troble tons of times because of them.

"Allright, I get it. We need to go back before he does burn yo' ass!"

The friends headed back to class without a word, and he didn't get in troble. He went back to his seat and saw the paper. Vocabulary. Eww.

He decided this time would be oppertune time for the shooting to begin. Anyways,the paper was starting to wear thin, and that _was_ the best time to do it.

He took one out of his mouth, and got his black straw out of his pocket. Then Ed stuffed the ball into the canon, and began his aim. But that was when he got a better idea! Why not use **two** canons instead of one? He grabbed a secound straw and loaded it, and aimed it. For 's head. At the nose.

He sucked in a deep breath of air before he stuck the straws in his mouth, and he saw Alfons trying really hard not to laugh as he delivered the air to the straws. The spitballs went flying. And hit its intended mark. Right in the nostrols, it almost went up Roy's nose!

didn't notice because they flew out of his nose and onto the floor, and Alfons almost let out a giggle.

Even though he knew it was getting risky, Ed grabbed for two more, and got them in the straws, and aimed for a place he'd never aimed at before. Roy's ass.

Once Alfons figured out where his smaller blond friend was aiming the straws, his blue eyes almost blew out of his sockets. Ed knew he didn't have much longer before Alfons would accidently give him away. So he blew into the canons, harder then he intended to.

If you were within thirty feet of Roy's ass, you would have heard a really load _**SMACK!**_ And you would have seen what I'm about to tell you.

By now Roy knew who had done it, because by then Alfons couldn't contain himself and he fell out in a mad cackle spree. Roy slowly turned his head in Edward's direction, and the class, except for Alfons was completely silent. They wanted to see what he would do to Edward.

Ed saw that he was doomed and chose that time as the time to run. Literally.

He bolted up and leaped like a ballerina across a line of desks, and made a fast beeline for the door. And he almost made it out to freedom. But Roy was faster. He grabbed Edward by the wrist, and closed the door that Ed had opened as the break bell rang.

"Mary, could you take to class outside while I deal with Ed?" asked a girl in the front row near him.

Mary nodded and dismissed the class.

Ed tried feverishly to break loose, but the man had an iron grip! He sqealed as he pulled and scratched at Roy's hand. But he Roy didn't make a move until the very last student was out of the classroom.

Roy locked the classroom door so noone could get in, and Edward couldn't break out. That made Ed growl like a wild animal, but he knew it was too late to escape. Then he lead Edward to a hardwood chair and sat him down, giving him a treatning look so he wouldn't struggle. As Ed sat there defeated, Roy opened the very bottom desk drawer, and guess what he pulled out? _A classic paddle._ Yes, that thing.

"Is that still legal?" Ed gasped, shrinking back in the chair, knowing who the paddle was for.

"No, it isn't. But I still do it, on rare occasions. And this is one of those times. I have to teach you a lesson that you'll never forget. Okay?" Roy said, holding the paddle in one hand and slapping the other hand with it.

"Why that thing, though?" Ed protested.

"Because, as your father in the classroom, I have to punish you like any father, so you'll _never_ do the sin you commited _ever_ again."

"But you're not my dad!"

"That doesn't matter at this time. Now pull both your pant and underwear down, and lean over my desk. That's a direct order."

Edward shivered as he slowly undid his belt, and let his black jeans fall down to the floor, leaving him in his plain white undies.

"Underwear too, Ed."

The teen hissed as he pulled his underwear to the ground, and bent over onto the desk, his pale bottom exposed to the light. He pressed his hands to his side as he tensed up for the first swat.

_SMACK!_

Ed yowled in pain as the man hit him, and he tried to cover his reddening rear end. But Roy grabbed his hands and forced them over Ed's head.

_SMACK! SMACK!_

"I'm sssorry! Please ssstop! It hhhurtsss!" Ed cried, tears flowing out of his golden eyes, and onto his blond hair that lay beside him.

_SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!_

Ed tried to wriggle out of Roy's death grip, but got hit again, harder this time. It went on like that for another four minutes until Ed had completely given up, and recieved a total of twenty swats.

His ass was a dark red, and he was crying almost uncontrollably, and he awaited his next order.

"Allright. You can put your clothes back on now. And when you're done, sit in the chair. We need to finish here." Roy panted, tired from the force he used.

Once Edward had put his pants and undies back on, he sat in the chair, wincing at the pain it gave him. Roy sat at his desk beside where Ed was, and turned to spinny chair to face him.

"I knew it was against the law to do that in school, but at least that means I won't have to give you and _real_ punishment now. You've suffered enough today. Now give me a hug. I know that sounds creepy!"

Ed smiled as he walked over and hugged him. "Thanks, Dad."

Roy laughed, "You're welcome."

**THE END!**

P.S.

Ed never made spitballs EVER again. And the moral...

_**NEVER AIM AND FIRE A SPITBALL AT MUSTANG'S ASS. EVER. YOU'LL GET LICKED BY FLAMES ON YOUR ASS!**_

**NOW THE END! :)**


	4. Abduction

**Okayyyy...4th story! Well, I better tell you now, it's gonna be a really voilent one near the end. It depends. This one's also gonna be a darker one of sorts. It's called "Abduction" for a reason. So yeah. This one is gonna take place where the manga and anime takes place, Amestris. Ed's 6 and we'll keep Roy's a secret. After a bad day, the upset father and son go into a SUPAHMART (The Fuhrer came up with that.) And things happen. I won't tell you guys more than that!**

**Also, I'd like to mention the TWO awsome reviewers who get cookies of their choice! They are awsomenaruto and yuugi arry! And thank you yuugi arry for the bunny rabbit! :D**

**Okay, enjoy the story!**

**Abduction**

_By Dinosaurs On The Moon Cookies_

Well, to begin this Edo-tale, I'll tell you it was a nice, busy Friday evening, and Edo-chan wasen't in a very good mood that day. _At all_. During morning kindergarten that day, he had gotten mad because a classmate wouldn't let him use his favorite piece of playground equipment, which was the monkeybars. He got on the monkey bars, and pushed the classmate down with one hand still on the rings, and the boy landed on his leg and broke it. Ed had to be sent home early, and Roy was very upset with him. Ed wasen't very happy about it, either. He was upset with his upset daddy, so the rest of the morning and early afternoon wasen't very pleasent at all.

So that evening, Roy had to go to the SUPAHMART to get a present for his friend Maes Hughes. And Ed had to go with him. Ed was not happy about that, and the six year old would express that by doing the stupidest and most dangerous things ever. _I mean STUPID._ But that won't come yet. There's always steps you take to stupid and dangerous. (So anyways...)

As the two went to the car, Ed was playing back what had happend ealier that day, and he admitted to himself that the worst part of the entire thing was to phone call to Roy in the principal's office. Ugh. But he had to close that thought alway as Roy opened the door to the back seats, and Ed climbed in, getting in his booster seat and letting Roy fasten him in. (Against his will, I might add.)

"Don't kick the driver's seat, because I know you will." Roy said icecily, slowly closing the door to the car, obviously testing Ed.

Ed grumbled as he _did _kick the driver's seat, and then he pounded his fists against the arms of his booster seat, sqealing in anger. Sadly, Roy saw it all, and had to tell him not to let his anger out on the car, "Or else..."

The whole way to SUPAHMART was spent in pure silence. Ed was angry, Roy upset beyond words. When they got to the parking lot, Ed was the first one out, and he waited beside the car until Roy got out, and waited for him to walk past before joining him. He trotted about two feet behind, until thewy got to the enterance, and the little shrimp ran into the store. Roy had to catch him, and when he did, Ed struggled to get out of his hold. Until Roy said the magic words.

"One more misbehavior, and it's gonna be a 'Prayer Meeting' in the car. Got it, buddy?"

Ed went limp as he followed his father through the superstore, but then he saw something that caught him completely off guard. It was the toy he had always wanted. A mini-driveable truck! He ran up to it, totally leaving Roy behind, and got in. He fit perfectly. And to his delight, the thing even _WORKED_! Finally something good in young Edo-chan's day!

The red truck barely made any noise at all, even as he rode it around the store, and somehow, Roy never noticed his disappearance.

Ed ran into some of his classmates, and spoke with them about kindergarten stuff for awhile, and drove on into the horizen of the store. He was enjoying this alot.

But what he didn't know was that the store was slowly closing, and even the employees were leaving.

He didn't notice until it was too late and the last lights were out. Oh crap for little Edo-chan. Oh crap indeed.

He didn't panic for at least an hour, but when that hour was up, he knew by the degree of darkness that it was most likely after his bedtime, that's when he panicked. As he tried to escape, he noticed none of the doors would open, and that he was stuck in there until either someone saw he was missing, or until the next morning at six o'clock, when it reopened.

So he sat near the door and waited, and waited for a long time until he fell asleep. Suddenly, the windows nearby were broken, and security alarms went off, waking Edward up. He quickly looked around to see who had gotten in and broken the windows, but all he would see was the insides of a black bag. He had been kidnapped.

He wrestled the bag, but all that it did was get hit, which hit him. Then he hit something really hard, and he swore he'd broken an arm with the impact, and he started weeping. He was being shaken as he heard an automobile. He was _in _ the thing. Where were the kidnappers taking him? What was Roy doing? Did he even know?

(Roy's side, sorta...)

Poor Roy didn't notice that Ed waen't with him until he realized it was Ed's bedtime. He looked everywhere in the house, but the pint-sized kindergartener was nowhere to be found.

"He has to be in the store...all alone. He's probubly wondering why I abandoned him! I better call HQ to ask them if they could do anything..."

He dialed up, and got Riza Hawkeye, his coworker.

"Colonel? Are you allright? You sound like you're breathing pretty quick, sir." Hawkeye said.

"It's Edward. I think I left him at the SUPAHMART, and he might still be there."

"I see. Umm...well it turns out the SUPAHMART got broken into just twenty minutes ago, so you might need to check that out. I'll come with you if you need me to."

"Cirtainly. I'd love that."

END OF PART ONE

It was a very long time before Ed was let out of the black bag, and by then he was _really _sure he had a broken arm. He wouldn't see his kidnappers until he couldn't do anything, because he immeadiatly strapped to a chair and gagged with a hankercheif. That's when _did_ see his kidnappers. Edward!Pride and Al!Greed.

"Man, that took longer than it should have. Can't you drive FASTER, Greed?" Pride spat to his familir as he pulled out tons of testtubes and various needles and chemicals.

"Oh, shut you mouth. Better than having Father find out, though, right?" Greed muttered, passing Alchemy books over to Pride.

The hankercheif was completely tasteless, and his breathing was becomimg ragged. He relized that he must be in an abandoned alehouse, and for some reason, it seemed liked he'd seen the place in a dream. He became petrified as Pride held out a long needle in his face, and made a huge grin,

"Well, well. Hey Greed! Little bugger's 'fraid of the needle! Find a longer one! I want him to feel _MAXIMUM_ pain." the sin sneered, looking over to Greed, who was lobbing needles out of a suitcase until he came across an 18 in. needle.

"Here ya go," Greed thrust the weapon into Pride's hands. "Hope the _poor thing_ can stand it pulsating _inside _him."

That was when Ed started convulsing out of shear dread. Would he end here? Was the _eighteen inch _needle send him off?

(Roy's side)

Damn those sins! They must've got Edward! Roy thought as he ran back, away from the scene of the crime, and to his car, where Riza Hawkeye was waiting. "Go to the West Side. Now."

Riza nodded as she quickly started the car and headed for the West Side of Central.

Roy gazed out of the car window to see the city blacken into the visions of a nightmare, and he remembered when he first met the sins...They had almost wiped out the quiet eastren village of Resembool. He wondered if they knew if Ed was his son. Most likely not. The boy had blond hair and golden eyes, which Roy did not have.

Would this Friday night end in more calamities than he expected? He already saw the marks of truck wheels on the road.

They were almost there.

"Hang in there, Ed. I'll be there soon. I know you have the strengh to handle them while I get there." Roy whispered as the car silently parked into the lot of the only abandoned alehouse in Central.

(Ed's Side)

The two men had already tunneled into his stomach with the needle, and as the chemicals slipped into Ed's bloodflow, his world seemed to be toppling and turning. It was in pandemonium.

"Perfect. Now tether him to the table. We need to get this operation started." he heard Pride's faint voice say in a wicked giggle as Greed lifted him from chair to table, strapping him to it.

All Edward did was coil in discomfort, but the deceitful sins didn't give a damn as they injected the needles in his arms that had chemicals going into him so the operation they were doing would go smoothly.

The operation never happend, though.

"MAN! Dammit! Can't you never stop ruining our plans, Flame Alchemist!" Pride shrieked, clapping his hands together to make a spear.

Roy had come to save the lifeless looking Ed that lay on the old bar table.

"Because, you dolt, you have my only son. And I won't allow you to experiment on him like a plate of fodder!" Mustang yelled, snapping his fingers and letting an expolsion of flames hit Pride.

But the hit wasen't fatel to the humuncolious, though. All that happened was him wearily getting up, littered with ashes. "Thought you could kill me this time, Mustang?" Pride cackled, glaring daggers at Roy. "Well, your kid's gonna find you at fault for not saving his poor, defenseless life!" He had struck a nerve, but not one of Roy's at that moment. But Ed's.

Somehow, all the chemicals had flopped, and the table had poor straps, so the six year old had been able to free himself.

"That's enough! Noone says things like that and gets away with it!" Edward screamed, finding the eighteen inch needle and driving it into where Pride's heart should have been, and the sin hit the ground. He would be out for a long time.

"I-I surrender." Greed gasped, holding out his arms, ready to be cuffed.

Edward by then had fallen to the ground and passed out. He needed medical attention, badly. Roy ran over and picked Ed's limp body up and went to the car once more, and got the kid to the hospital.

(Two days later...)

Waoh. Why is is _so _foggy? Where's Roy? Were the first things Ed thought as he woke from the drugs and other things from the other night.

He groaned as he sat up in the hospital bed, and tried to focus his eyes so he could see the room more clearly.

"You awake, bud?" He heard Roy's voice, and jumped in surprize.

He saw Roy beside him in a chair, with a concerned gaze in his onyx eyes, his raven hair looking untidy.

Ed nodded, and attempted to get out of the bed, but Roy pushed him back, earning a hiss.

"Stay. The doctor said you couldn't get out of bed, or move very much for a few days. He wants you to get your wounds healed."

Ed sighed and slumped back in the bed.

"I'm sorry for everything that I did...I was being cocky, wasen't I?"

"Yes, you were. But I'm the one who _really_ needs to apologize. I wasen't watching you properly. I was so upset that I completely forgot." Roy whispered.

"It's allright. I won't leave your side in a big place like that EVER again, I promise!"

"That's wonderful. And I won't get so upset over petty things. But you still shouldn't have pushed that kid."

Edward blushed and tried to change the direction of the conversation.

"What happened to Pride and Greed?"

"They were locked up. That's about it, really."

"Oh. I see."

"So, are you gonna apologize to your teacher about causing such a disturbance in class?" Roy asked.

"I'll have to, right? Have no choice, anyways."

"So true. You're leaving in a few days, so when you get out you'll do the apologizing, okay?"

"Right," Ed muttered, then he perked up. "Hey, can we get Ice Cream if I _DO_ apologize?"

Roy facepalmed.

**THE END!**

_**THE MORAL ED LEARNED WAS...**_

_** NEVER GO TO A SUPAHMART WHEN HUMUNCOLI ARE ON THE LOOSE. YOU GET KIDNAPPED!**_

**Wow. That ending was pretty good. I had to make him get kidnapped by Ed!Pride and Al!Greed for no reason whatsoever! So don't flame me, I use them for firecrackers! All reveiwers get cookies! :D**


	5. Let The Blood Run While I Die

**Okay, 5th story! I'm doing one off the 100 theme challange thing...I might use those as a base for my stories. Um, this one's gonna be number 17. Blood. So yeah...whoopie doo. Hope you guys enjoy! Also, I want to thank all the reveiwers I had, even though I woke up 7 hours after posting "Abduction". I still had two reviews from my loyal readers! Thanks for that! So yeah, this might be another dark one-shot. I haven't started at this point, so yeah...Hope you like the 5th!**

_**"Let The Blood Run While I Die..."**_

_By Dinosaurs On The Moon Cookies_

Ed was in troble, in danger, more like. He had been chased down by two men who had been out to kill the 14 year old for months. They were Myles and Marce Hamms. They were cold-blooded killers who would go out and find an innocent victum to chase for days to years until they died. And Edward had landed into their deadly game. Ed haden't told his comander, Roy Mustang, though. He could fight these murderers by himself, he had thought. But now, he was cornered. With no weapons to use or alchemy to transmute with. He was game for the Hamms.

He shivered as a dagger was pointed into his chest, and let out a ragged gasp as the weapon pierced him. He felt the crimson blood stain his clothes and drive a path down his body, and he didn't look to prove it, either. He knew that if he looked away for a single moment, that was it. They would send him off to hell. They had sent his late younger brother Alphonse there, too. They even had his armor head for proof, as well. Edward had screamed in dispair when he had seen it, and had tried to attack Myles, but had been slammed to a wall by ground alchemy. The brothers could preform it.

"If you let us kill you, we won't hurt your friends back at Eastern Command. How's that sound to you, shrimp?" Marce grinned, wiping his brown hair behind his ears.

"I can't trust you! And even if you tried to kill them, they'd stop you! It'd be many against two!" Ed screeched, trying to hold his will to sock Myles in his crouch.

"Yeah, right. If we can stop a talented State cirtified Alchemist like you, then the Command whould be a piece a cake. Though the Flame Alchemist _would_ be a problem, I must admit."

"Yes! He'd burn you before you even got withen two yards of him!" Ed said, leaning in to face the brothers.

He had said the wrong thing. The dagger was slowly pulling out of him, and then slowly pushing back in, causing the young Alchemist agony. He could see nothing as pictures of bloodstained memories littered his vision. His mother, Trisha Elric. His right arm and left leg. The bloodsheild on Alphonse. Nina Tucker. Roy. _Roy Mustang._ He had lost an eye in a horrible battle..._No._ He would _not_ lose something so terrible as an eye, not like Roy. _Hell no._

Roy's Side

Roy had checked Edward's living quaters, and he wasen't there. Not even a note had been left to tell the reason of his absence. All that was there was a broken lamp and a bloodstain on the boy's bedroom floor. Edward was in danger, Roy realized, and he would find the boy. He was his youngest subordinate. And he couldn't handle troble vary well, especially now with his younger brother gone from the world.

Roy took his gloves out of his pocket and slipped them on his hands, feeling the familiar cloth soothe him. He'd need his Flame Alchemy, he had a gut feeling on that one. And he headed out the door, ready to find Edward and give him a senseless beating for not being in his home after the streetlights came on. That's how much he cared.

Ed's Side

Ed screamed as the Hamms began burning the chest wound with a frying pan. It wasen't too long before Marce had begun to rape him. (I won't say anymore about that part!) But he felt the burning flames hit the wound, and he began to get really weak, but he made himself keep his golden eyes open, because he figured someone would hear him and come to his rescue, at least distract them so he could escape! He could feel the tears he was crying sting the cut with the flames, and then he felt his heart automactially stop and start up again. He was slowly dying. So slowly, letting heated blood burn the tender skin on his stomach and sides.

That's when he saw a flame hit Myles, and the crimmnal fell to the ground, almost scorched to death. Now that he wasen't being held on to, he began sliding down to the ground. He wouldn't be able to escape even if he had the chance to. He was weak, and had a large dagger sticking out of his chest, a bit below his heart.

"Edward! Are you allright!" He heard a voice. It was Roy's. _But he wasen't allright, dammit!_

He trembled as he knew his systems were quickly shutting down from all the pain, even they were weak and tired. He soon couldn't feel his legs and feet. He could see a faint glare of orange flames licking another target, possibly Marce, who by then had finished trying to rape Edward. He vision was fading, but for some reason, he could see Roy clearly. He had a look of anger, the rage of the battlefield. The rage Ed had used to save loved ones plenty of times before. Why was his commander doing this? He should've known that Ed was gonna die, no matter what he did to the Hamms.

Then there was silence, the Hamms had been defeated. And Ed could hear Roy's fast-paced footsteps as he came to his side. Then he could feel Roy's gloves as he stroked his soft cheeks. _So he knew, then._ _That I was gonna die weather he stopped them or not. Heh. He wanted me to die in vengence. Like I should've done myself. Thanks Roy._

Roy tried to stop Ed's bleeding, but Ed had enough strengh to push his upper's hands away, and he said in a sore voice.

_"Let the blood run while I go to hell, Roy. I know you tried to keep me alive, but it's too late. But I love you, as a son. Thank you for leading me this far, Colonel."_

**Okay...I'm crying. Seriously! That was sad. But I hope you like it! I'll make the next one more funnier and happier! I PROMISE! Reviewers get cookies! And cake if they want! :) **

**Also, I wanted to tell you I got my very own notebook to write these Edo-Chan stories in! :D**


	6. PLEASE READ: IMPORTANT!

Hey Peoples! I has news on my series!

I'm gonna set these stories into volumes of ten stories and all, and I've already gotten the 7th story on "The SHORT Edo-Chan Stories" started. So, when all 10 stories on this are done, look out for a new series called: "And Then We Were TALL" I think I'll give you a summery of the next story so you guys won't get all creeped out because of the lack of new material. It's a two-parter, taking the 6th and 7th places in this volume.

SUMMERY: Somehow, Ed and Al are turned into Nekos, and they also have the minds of 3 and 4 year olds, but with the bodies of 13 and 14 year olds. Roy, the so-called parent of the two, has to rise them until they get the minds of teens again. One day, at Eastren Command Center, the partners in crime go behind a door they were _never_ supposed to go into, and they get lead into a 'WonderLand' of sorts. What will happen next?

Watch out for "A Day In The Life Of Nekos" in about two to four days! I still have to write part 2!

Thanks for reading this!

-Dinosaurs On The Moon Cookies! :D


	7. That Picture? 3 continuation

This is a continuation of story #3, "Spitballs". So yeah, hope you enjoy.

_That Picture?_

**By Dinosaurs On The Moon Cookies**

"Edward! Time for school! And please don't get in troble again, kay?" Came the voice of Trisha Elric as Edward Elric ran out the door, not bothering to say goodbye, because his schoolbus had just flashed by his house.

"Damn bus! Stop yo' wheels for a friggin' minute!" Ed yowled as he tore down Elm Avenue, chasing bus #1313.

The bus obviously didn't listen, because Ed had to run it all the way to school. By then, Ed was completely pissed. This had been the _third_ time the bus had passed by, and every time, he couldn't catch it! He'd even tried waking up twenty minutes early and wating outside, but it just flew past like there wasen't a care in the world. And now he was _late._ _AGAIN_. Mr. Mustang was sure to send his mom a letter of how late he had been recently, and frankly, he just wanted to punch the driver in the face.

Ed grumbled as he caught up to his best friend Alfons, who had been waiting by the enterance, as he always did. Beside Alfons, was his other friend Ling Yao, who had only been his friend since he had moved from Ying about three months before.

"You don't look okay, Edo-chan! Wazzup? Bus pass yo' house again?" Ling asked, hugging Ed like he always did.

"Duh. I would've been on the bus if you haden't noticed. I really want to sock the driver in the face!" Ed said, returning Ling's hug.

"Then why don't we? It would be fun!" Alfons said, pointing to the bus, standing still. "Or we could trash it, I don't think he's in there. Who's in?"

Ed and Ling looked at eachother and gave evil grins, nodding. "I think he deserves that, after what he's done!" Ed cheered, running after Alfons, who had begun to go to the bus, Ling following.

Soon the trio were at the door of the bus, and Alfons had to pry the door open with his math binder, and it went _SWOOSH!_ as it opened, almost scaring the crap out of Ling, who wasen't used to Amestrian technology. The bus was all game for the teens. They ran in, and somehow had the suppiles they needed to trash a bus properly. Ed grabbed a can of white spray paint, and began to spray obsenaties allover the walls, and on the windows. Alfons was stabbing the seats with a jagged pencil and laughing in a childish glee as he did. Ling was not really taking part, but was taking pictures, and had his phone playing "The Hamster Dance". Within minutes, the bus had been covered in stab holes and white words, and the three decided to join in a really load Hamster Dance. It was clearly a sight to see, until they managed to hear the bus driver come back.

"SHIT! Sock em'!" Alfons cried, pulling the emergancy door open, letting the alarm ring and pulling Ling out.

Ed took the right moment to punch the bus driver in the croch, and tear out after his friends, yelling the lyrics to the Hamster Dance chorus. There were seventh graders outside having break, and they saw the trio of sixth graders leap out of the back of the bus, and rush to the bushes, yelling out strange things. One was Alphonse Elric, Ed's older brother by a few months, and he was standing there, mouth agape once he relized who the three were.

"Ohhhh, _Edddddddd..._ When I tell your teacher...you three will be _doomed._" Al composed his posture to normal and stormed into the school, right for Mr. Mustang's classroom.

Part one for the story's #6 and 7. Sorry it wasen't what you were expecting from what I had said, I left my notebook at my house and so I had to come up with a two-parter from sratch. Hope you like, though! Reveiwers get cookies! :D I might actually make the adventures of 13-year old Ed a full story of its own. Should I?


	8. That Picture? Part II

_Welcome back to my stories of our beloved Edo-Chan. Today is the second parter and seventh chapter to our tales. As we begin this part, I will tell you what has happened._

_1. Ed missed his bus, and had to run to school._

_, Ed and Ling decide to tear Ed's bus apart._

_3. The trio do tear up the bus, and dance to "The Hamster Dance" _

_4. They get caught by the bus driver, but Ed socks the guy in the balls, and runs off with friends._

_, Ed's older brother, sees, and goes off to tell Roy._

_Now, on to the story._

_That Picture?_

_**By Dinosaurs On The Moon Cookies**_

_**Part II**_

(At Roy's Classroom, When Al gets there)

In Roy's classroom, the day was going on as normal, and he haden't really noted the absence of Edward Elric, Alfons Heidrich and Ling Yao. Roy was passing out papers for the class to do, and it was some sort of vocabulary ment to make one barf.

_KNOCK. KNOCK._ Went the classroom door. Roy gave his stack of paper to someone to finish passing out while he went to open the locked door. It was Alphonse Elric, wearing a very angry face, arms crossed.

"What's wrong, Alphonse? And why are you coming to me for whatever it is?" Roy asked, fixing his square glasses to a more comfortable position.

"Ed. That's all I want to say with the door open." Al said plainly, pulling Roy out into the hallway.

Roy looked up at Al (That's because Al's tall) and took in the teen's look. He had his dirty blonde hair pulled back into a bun, and he wore almost all red and white. And then stood back, arms crossing once more.

"Now, what's so _important_ about Edward that you just _had_ to pull me out of my own classroom?" Roy said with ice in his voice, clearly not pleased with the situatutaion.

"He, and his two friends. They vandalized a schoolbus just now. And then they escaped. I figure that if we can find them, we can pound some sense into them."

"How do you know this? Were you with them?"

"_NO!_ I found this! See? A _picture._ Of my brother spray painting and Alfons stabbing bus seats, apparently enjoying it! Of _all _things I taught him..." Al growled, going on to his own mindless mumbles.

Roy looked at the picture, and it _did_ look like the trio was _enjoying_ the event! So that's why they were absent! He grew mad when he began to see what Ed had been spray-writing, and flared. _I thought that spanking had taught him a damned lesson never to disobey others!_

"Al. Comeon. I think I might know where they might be."

(Meanwhile, with the trio)

_Run. Run faster Ling! _Ed thought as he followed his friends Ling Yao and Alfons Heidrich through what seemed like fifty-million bushes and getting various scratches from brambles. He swore that he heard footsteps behind him, and wouldn't take the chance to get caught. He was just beginning to realize what he had done, and most likely the price he would have to pay. _I will not get caught. Surely?_

He almost tripped on sidewalk edge as they reached the edge of the small woods. They had reached Alfons' backyard.

It was pretty preppy looking, the whole deck with hottub with pool arrangement. Average second-class home. Edward tailed after Alfons into his house, which was always empty during the weekdays. When they got in, it turned out there was someone there, and not the people he had expected. _Al and Roy. Oh god. Of all people. Not them!_

Al and Roy were sitting at the table, giving hard looks. The trio had been caught right in the elder's trap.

Ling sqeaked and tried stepping back, but Ed grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back, growling at him. Alfons had nowhere to run. This _was_ his house. But he did anyways, right out of an open window. Ed let go of Ling and leaped out after, only seconds before Roy could grab him. Ling disappered out of the backdoor, catching up to the other two.

"We're not gonna get anywhere like this, Alfons! They're gonna catch us sooner or later, and the punishment gonna be harsher! Thanks Alfons!" Ed panted as they reached a shopping center down the block.

Alfons ignored Edward as he entered a "Hot Topic" and went over to the jackets, looking completely unaware. Ed didn't follow, but took Ling to a resterant to refuel. It was a "McDonalds".

Ed went up to the counter and odered everything large, and billed it on Roy's bank account. (Don't ask how he knows Roy's bank account stuff.) Once their stuff was given, they walked behind the store and opened the food, Ling immeadiatly began nibbling on a large angus burger and drinking out of a large strawberry banana smoothie. Ed looked around the surrounding area like a hawk at least twice before he even touched his large fries and large they heard footsteps, they got up quickly and ran to another spot to finish their meal. They had to do that at least four times before they had finished everything, and they left their trash behind, they didn't want to be tracked.

(Roy and Al...)

Both Roy and Alphonse were at the shopping center by now, and had immeadiatly went into "Hot Topic", because Ed and Alfons liked that store, but all they found was Alfons, trying out jackets. Al jumped Alfons, and got the coat off him before dragging him out, kicking and screaming. Roy was outside, watching for sight of any of the three friends. He turned when Alphonse came out, dragging one of them.

"It's he the only one?" Roy asked, taking off his light blue jacket, letting it fall onto his lower arms.

"Yeah. And it doesn't look like he knows where Ed and Ling are, either. I'll come back to help you when I get him back to school, kay?" Al said, starting to walk away towards where the school was, seeing as he couldn't drive.

_So it's up to me to get both Ed and Ling. Geez._ Roy thought as he went looking in stores. But as he exited the McDonald's, he saw a bright red Mustang drive by, at a really high speed, and it had Roy's lisense plate on it. The brats had stolen his car!

_Sorry. I guess it's gonna be a three-parter! Hope you like this! Oh, and I'd like to say thanks to awsomenaruto and anime-lover890. I WILL make a seperate series for 13 year old Ed! But I'll need some ideas to start off. It's hard to get into this whole school setting, so I might need help. Thanks for reading! Oh, and I might not have the third part until Tuesday, becuase I'm gonna see a Tyler Parry movie today. It's actually my first! Maybe I'll get some ideas..._


	9. Retirement Note

_A short note to all my FMA story readers and followers._

_I….Have lost all my intrest in Fullmetal Alchemist in the past six months, because Hetalia has rocked my world, and now I cannot finish any of my fanfics that I spent so much of my precious time on. And I want to give them away to a good author who will hopefully continue to write them. I'll give whoever wants the following stories all of my previous plans for them to construct a continuation with. _

_**An Alchemist's Pride And Joy**_

_**Number Thirteen**_

_So please….take my stories. I'm sorry I cannot finish these fine creations. I've just had so much go on, and all my Hetalia things backing me up as well. I'm sorry. And goodbye to Fullmetal Alchemist._

_~Chibi-Chan (aka Phoenix Amber Kirkland)_


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